he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
