If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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