I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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