No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
