She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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