if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.