I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
