i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
