i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
