i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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