too bad you live with your parents still
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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