The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
