Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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