i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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