I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
