at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
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its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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