he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
