finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
