i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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