Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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