after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
lets start a swedish sibling band together
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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