i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
