you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
