Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
