Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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