that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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