How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He did a backflip because drugs
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
