Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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