I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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