I hate your face
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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