She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
