Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
