you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
