how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
