My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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