Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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