why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Did you just see the Batmobile???
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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