Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
