Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
