Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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