That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
