Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
