Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
