the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize