She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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