ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
