Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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