What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
