You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i think i have two assholes
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
