Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
