So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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