Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
