UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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