: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize