Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
