i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
