I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
