I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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