every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
