found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
